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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23606086">moonlight sonata</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/punktaekai'>punktaekai (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TaeKai Alternate Universes [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band), SHINee, SuperM (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caring, Chronic Pain, Disabled Character, Disabled Kim Jongin | Kai, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, SuperM Fest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:01:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23606086</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/punktaekai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin wakes up in another bout of chronic pain, his spine agony - Taemin's there to make sure he's okay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TaeKai Alternate Universes [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1521983</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>SuperM Fest Round One</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>moonlight sonata</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a self prompt for the <b>SuperM Fest</b></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The clock across the room says 2:37am when Jongin's eyes flicker open. He stares at the numbers, blinking a few times; his head is fuzzy, too groggy to know what woke him. Taemin is asleep on the right of the bed, snoring as softly as ever — the sound definitely didn't wake Jongin up, leaving him clueless as to the answer of why he was pulled out of his dreams. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The answer comes to him when he shifts to roll onto his front; his back seizes, paralysing pain gripping him in a sharp hold, invisible hands wrapping around his spine and tugging in different directions, pulling and wrenching, as though they’re trying to snap his vertebrae apart like puzzle pieces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin grits his teeth and scrunches his eyes shut as he heaves in a deep breath to prevent himself from crying out at the pain. He forces himself to breathe out slowly before letting his eyes flicker back open; a tear falls from his eye, slipping over the bridge of his nose and landing on the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because of the moonlight streaming in from the half open curtains, his MRI results seem to shine on the bedside table. Jongin grits his teeth harder, feeling a soft popping in his jaw as he glares at them. The faint, small black letters he can't make out taunt him in the light. He doesn't need to read the words out loud to know what the results say - he's read them more than enough times; his spine is defective in two different places, too narrow, too short and a torn disc in between the two.</span>
</p><p><span>It’s a curse, truly, and he can’t help but to let out</span> <span>a whimper as another shot of pain shoots through his nervous system. </span></p><p>
  <span>Taemin shifts behind him, rolling him over with a soft exhale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin opens his mouth, taking a deep breath before clenching his teeth again and pushing his lips together. He needs to somehow get from their bed to the couch so he can at least cry through it without waking Taemin up - he needs to be at the store early tonight for the opening shift - which means he has to be up in two hours. He inhales deeply through his nose and sits up, biting through his lip as the pain gets worse, shooting down his legs. He swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands, but before he can take a step, he’s crashing onto the cold, wooden floor, crying out from the pain. He definitely has a few splinters from that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, Nini?” Taemin’s voice is still groggy from sleep, deep and slightly croaked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin tries to quieten himself, tries to stop the sobs leaving his throat but it’s too late.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jongin!” Now Taemin is completely awake, sleepiness completely gone and Jongin knows it’s his fault. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Taemin is by his side in seconds, hands on him. “Baby, what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was trying… my back, my </span>
  <em>
    <span>back</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taemin’s hands are gentle, helping Jongin to roll onto his back, knowing that laying on his stomach can worsen the pain. “Breathe, just breathe, it’s alright.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin breathes along with Taemin, getting his breath back under control. Jongin isn’t sure how long they spend that way before Taemin nods - Jongin can see how his blond hair shifts in the moonlight. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Alright, let’s sit you up, slowly, slowly.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Taemin supports most of Jongin’s weight as he lifts himself, choking on a sob as he does. He buries his face in Taemin’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Taemin’s waist and clings, fingers tight in his sleep shirt. Taemin massages as gently as he can down Jongin’s spine, shushing him gently, pressing kisses to his temple. They sit in silence for a while, Taemin doing his best to calm Jongin before he leans back.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Let’s get you back in bed.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“N-No, just put me on the couch, help me to the sofa… I’ll just ride it out you need to go back to sleep, you have work-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“-I’m not leaving you like this.” Taemin presses a gentle kiss to Jongin’s cheek. “Let’s get you in bed and then I’ll go get your heat packs.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“But work-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“-Work does not matter as much as you do.” Taemin’s curt, but gentle, in his words, preparing to stand and help Jongin. “Now come on, arms around my shoulders.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin doesn’t fight him anymore, struggling to move his arms but anchoring them around the top of Taemin’s back. Taemin counts down gently before they move together; Jongin’s spine jars and he cries out, but he finds himself being sat down. Taemin’s hands disappear and Jongin can hear the pillows shifting as Taemin arranges them before they appear to help him lay down. They’ve been arranged perfectly, letting Jongin lay in a way that takes some of the pressure off his spine and he lets out a breath of relief. He’s propped up at an angle, his back straight whilst his shoulders press against the head of the bed frame, legs stretched out to ease the pressure between his vertebrae.  </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Footsteps disappear down the hallway and Jongin closes his eyes. Light flows into the bedroom when the kitchen light turns on, turning Jongin’s black vision slightly red. He shifts his head slightly, opening his eyes to look at the clock on the bedside table before closing them again. It’s ten past three, Taemin’s alarm will go off soon - when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> be waking up. Guilt festers in his stomach; tears prick in his eyes again and he shuts them, squeezes them as tight as he can. Taemin doesn’t deserve this; he deserves to be able to work, to have a life that doesn’t surround running to Jongin whenever his back decides to play up. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Nini?” Taemin’s thumb gently wipes a tear away from his cheek and Jongin flickers his eyes open. The light in the bedroom is on now - there’s no way to hide that he was crying. “Is the pain that bad?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“We should break up.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>That’s not what Jongin meant to say.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Taemin purses his lips, his movements slow as he carefully rolls Jongin onto his side, placing heat strips to his shirt. “What do you mean?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You deserve better than this. You deserve so much better, to not be exhausted before he even goes to work constantly, to be able to go out without having to constantly worry about me-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin is cut off by Taemin’s lips pressing on his own. “Stop it. I don’t care, Jongin.” Taemin sits cross legged next to him, helping Jongin sit up enough to take some painkillers. “I love you, pain and all, you can’t help that it’s a part of you, what kind of person would I be if I left you for that? I love you, and all of this goes hand in hand with loving you.” Taemin brushes Jongin’s hair off his forehead and helps him lay against the pillows properly once the strips are placed. “I’m not going anywhere, unless you </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>want me to go.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin scrunches his eyes shut, taking a few breaths. “You really mean all that?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Of course I do. I don’t want to go anywhere.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin nods. “I’m just…” Jongin struggles to find the right word to explain his feelings. “Overreacting, I’m sorry.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You’re not overreacting.” Taemin gets up as the tea kettle whistles in the kitchen. “I’ll be right back.” Taemin leans over to press a kiss to Jongin’s head before he disappears back out of the bedroom.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin gratefully accepts the tea offered to him when Taemin returns, carefully sipping the scalding liquid and wincing, but enjoying the way the tea burns down his throat. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You’re not overreacting, Nini. You’re in a lot of pain, you’re heavily emotional right now and have been for a few weeks at this point, you’re under a lot of stress, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span>… it’s completely rational for you to be acting like this. It’s alright.” Taemin’s fingers tease through his hair, gently massaging his scalp. “You’re okay, we’re okay, I’m okay.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Why are you still here?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t I be?” Taemin smiles softly. “Whenever I go out, I worry about you, even before this. When the robberies were really bad here last year, I was scared I’d come home to find you hurt by a burglar. I’m scared I might get a call any day that you’d be taken to the hospital. I worry that you were having a bad, stressful day at work, you didn’t get to eat lunch on time and you’re hungry. I worry you might get a paper cut and can’t find a plaster, or you cut your finger and ruin that important document you’re desperately trying to finish. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>worry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I worried </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> all this. Now, there’s just a few more things to worry about and that’s completely fine. Because I love you, and worrying about those you love and hoping that they’re safe go hand in hand. The same way you worry about me working overtime and that I might be exhausted, or the way you get annoyed because I’m not eating lunch because I just don’t have time but you insist I need a break so I can regain my strength. Worry and love goes hand in hand, and worry shouldn’t be criminalised in that aspect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taemin pauses to catch a stray drop of tea running down Jongin's chin. "I love you, and I care about you, and worry partners with care and love.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin can’t stop the tears from flowing down his face. Taemin shoots forward to grab the cup of tea and places it on the bedside table before wrapping his arms around Jongin. “Let it out, let it out, I’m here.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin buries his face into Taemin’s shoulder and weeps. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve someone so loving, so caring… someone who didn’t just throw him out the door the moment trouble approached and set root in their home. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He knows, deep down, this is normal. Taemin caring for him as a loving partner should do isn’t abnormal, nor is he a burden. It’s not inherently </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal</span>
  </em>
  <span> for him to see himself as a burden, but this is all brand new to the both of them. It’s only been a few months since he was diagnosed, since he was told what was wrong, why he was having moments of pure paralysis. He’s still undergoing testing, starting physiotherapy, learning every day what affects him. Taemin’s been there every second of it, in the waiting room with a new manga or there next to him, holding his hand as tight as he dares. They’re learning </span>
  <em>
    <span>together</span>
  </em>
  <span> like a couple should.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>But Taemin’s also right - it’s okay, to a degree, for him to feel like this. The weight of the world is bearing down on him, snapping his spine. His mind is never quiet, always full, bursting with worries and fear. When he starts his therapy to talk him through this, he’ll probably be told it’s normal at first to feel this way. He just needs to work through it - </span>
  <em>
    <span>they </span>
  </em>
  <span>need to work through it.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>And from the way Taemin’s fingers massage up and down the top of his back, doing his best to ease the pain Jongin is feeling tells him that Taemin is definitely going to do his best to get through this </span>
  <em>
    <span>together</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin sniffles a few more times and then leans back, collapsing against the pillows. He feels better, his head clearer now he’s gotten some of the emotions out. The heat packs are starting to work, easing the pain in his back. Taemin smiles and leans in to kiss his forehead. “Better?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin nods softly and Taemin smiles. “Try and get some sleep, I have to make a phone call and I’ll cook some breakfast, hm? We can have a lazy morning.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin nods again and settles down as best he can. Taemin carefully tucks the sheets in around him and disappears. He hears Taemin in the living room, a murmured conversation about </span>
  <em>
    <span>no, Jongin really isn’t doing too well… yeah, would you mind if we swapped shifts? Thank you, Kibum, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>thank you</em>
  </b>
  <span> along the general sounds of cooking. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin shakes his head and ignores the guilt in his stomach - Taemin is worried and wants to make sure that he’s okay, and that’s completely okay; it’s normal, nothing to be concerned about. He focuses on the mantra, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s okay, he loves me, he cares</span>
  </em>
  <span> until the next thing he knows, the smell of kongnamul bab floats into the room and footsteps follow it. He flickers his eyes open to find Taemin ushering the dogs in. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Monggu immediately jumps up, whimpering and curling up in Jongin’s lap - he’s always been able to sense when something was wrong with Jongin. He smiles and curls his fingers in Monggu’s fur, stroking gently. “I’m alright, boy. Just life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taemin settles on the bed, using his knee to stop Eve jumping at the food tray he’s holding. He sets it on the bedside table before getting Jongin’s tray out from under the bed - one with retractable legs and able to be angled slightly - easier on Jongin’s back when he needs to rest. He serves up breakfast, laughing at Monggu’s bemused expression as the tray slides over him, hovering above his head, before setting his laptop up. “Right… Where were we with that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Whispering Corridors</span>
  </em>
  <span> binge watch? I think we were on the third? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing Stairs</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin nods and focuses on eating his rice, eyes glued to Taemin as he sets Netflix up. </span>
  <span></span><br/>
<span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Jongin’s really lucky to have Taemin; really lucky, and he wouldn’t change these soft, lazy - albeit, painful - moments for the world. </span>
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